Monthly Archives: June 2011

the opposite of fear

earlier this evening i had a friend ask if i was afraid of dying. i told him that i’d like to think i’m not. then i paused and said, i’m not afraid of dying; i’m afraid of not having lived.

love note to self: the opposite of fearing (i.e., being afraid) is loving. now do something with this.


the things we do to get laid

um, yeah, this might be true. unfortunately, it’s not working out so well for me these days.

(it could work out for me if i were able to overlook an 18 year age difference, but that’s a whole ‘nuther story. if only i were ten years younger…)

but i do, i do give a fuck!

in honor of ‘i don’t give a fuck day’ on facebook, here’s a link. check it out if you want to. or not. i really don’t give a fuck.

(actually, i do give a fuck, and that’s my problem. i care too much about things i can do little or nothing about. and that’s one reason why my rsvp for this event on facebook was a ‘maybe’. i probably do give a fuck, which is why i will be up at 6 am on a saturday morning trying to sell some of my shit in a yard sale. if i didn’t give a fuck, why would i even bother? the other reason i chose ‘maybe’ was that perhaps tomorrow morning i’ll wake up and really won’t give a fuck. not likely, but it could happen. so, i’ll play along, either way, because of my need, as a 46-year-old nerdy woman of color, to be with the in crowd for once.)

peripherally related, i use the word actually way too much (see the beginning of the previous paragraph), in writing and in conversation. maybe to break myself of that habit, instead of writing or saying ‘actually’, i’ll start saying ‘well fuck…’ it could work: ‘well fuck, i do give a fuck…’ i’ve tested it out in my head in other instances when i’ve caught myself using ‘actually’, and it worked then too. of course i couldn’t do it at work and other places where i might want to appear somewhat professional. the main downside would be that i’d be dropping the f-bomb more than i already do. i don’t have a problem with f-bombs, unless it seems that’s all you know how to say. and my saying ‘well fuck’ all the time might put me into that category of seeming to have a ghetto-esque vocabulary. so we shall see. (and i think the fact that i used the made up phrase ‘ghetto-esque vocabulary’ might prove that my vocabulary is not ghetto-esque.)

i use parentheses too much also. as a matter of fact, at one point i thought of renaming this blog ‘parenthetical thoughts’ but that name was actually already taken. well fuck.