slight change of plans

y’all will have to forgive me (which i know you will). i know you’ve read in past posts how certain i’ve been about my decision to move to cali in january and how i just know that signposts have been pointing me in that direction, blah blah blah. and trust me, i still want to do this with all my heart and plan to eventually, barring some great disaster. and i know the universe helps out those who decide upon direction and firmly believe matthew 6:33 from the new testament, which (paraphrased) says to seek first the kingdom of god and whatever you desire will be given to you. nevertheless, maybe it’s a fear of a ‘great disaster’ that has actually caused me to postpone my dream for a bit.

this whole wall street thing has me more than a little concerned. the way things are going it will be nearly impossible to get student loans, which would be my lifeblood if i went this path right now. also, the idea of moving across the country to a place with an astronomical cost of living with the very real possibility of a major economic collapse on the horizon… i just don’t think it would be very smart at this moment. without all this avoidable (and i believe both major political parties share the blame for this) economic b.s. looming, i would still be planning to make the move early next year sometime. i mean, i keep hearing the words ‘great depression’ mentioned with this current situation. and, as much as i dislike the president, i believe that the fact that he is so involved in trying to resolve this situation when he has nothing to lose and no real stake in what happens is proof enough that we are in the midst of a genuine crisis. therefore, not having any real support system in place in cali at this point, wisdom tells me that maybe i should stay put for awhile. besides, i’m not a multi-billion dollar corporation who can depend on the federal government to bail me out should i screw up on my own out there (not that i would want the government to bail me out).

i have a decent job that i’m happy with most of the time, and there is still the option of library school, with tuition being a lot cheaper (plus i can get financial assistance from my employer). i’m not in love with kansas city, but there are things here i like a lot. i’ve made some good friends here and i am close to family and friends back in columbia. i can do this situation a couple more years, then case out the situation then as far as moving to the west coast to pursue my doctorate at ciis.

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