dreams and waking nightmares

maybe i’m not as enligtened and open-minded as i thought. this morning on the city bus on the way to work, a young male passenger of middle-eastern descent boarded the bus. he had a couple of rather large bags with him, and was acting odd. after he sat down, making a commotion in the process, he was talking to himself, even laughing to himself, and he changed seats a couple of times. i was fully expecting to hear ‘allah akbar’ at any moment, a loud boom, and then a fade to white. i sat there thinking, well, i’m ready to die, if something should actually happen right now, yeah, there are things i regret not doing, but i feel good for the most part about the life i’ve lived. however, he got off a couple of stops before i did, and yes, i breathed a sigh of relief.

i feel bad for feeling this way, for assuming because of his appearance and actions that the united states was going to have its very first suicide bomber right here in little ol’ kcmo. i guess i’m letting the media get to me. however, this does help me to empathize with the people of israel, iraq, and other middle eastern countries, who have to go through the fear of someone blowing up their bus every single day, when they are simply trying to get to work and make a living (if they even have a job).

*****

yesterday i made my semi-annual trek to the prophecy room at the ihop (international house of prayer). it wasn’t as thought provoking for me as my last trip there, but it was still interesting. the main thing that sticks out is that one of the women who spoke over me told me that i was ‘of sound mind’ (which is always good to hear) and that god was ready to share more things with me ‘like deep calling unto deep’. i also got the impression that i’m supposed to talk more about these things, but i’m not sure in what capacity. i’m not the person to stand up in front of large (or even small) groups of people and talk. but i’m not closing anything off either, especially because of my current inner debate between library school vs. seminary. so we’ll see.

maybe or maybe not related, saturday night i had another freaky ass dream, not unlike this dream. i was visiting my family in columbia, and i was on a hill, overlooking the columbia skyline (which in reality consists of nothing but a water tower and a couple of smoke stacks). i was thinking of how i like living in kc because of all the tall buildings around and how i could never live in columbia again for that reason. then two of my nieces come running up to the house, panicked and yelling about ‘the warning’ and saying we all needed to go hide. i said something about there having been warnings out all day. i went into the house to get my bags which were already packed. a mouse ran out from under the bed, and i said to it, ‘i don’t have time to be scared of you.’ this is significant because i am deathly afraid of any type of rodent. it showed me that i was aware of the seriousness of this warning and/or situation. anyway, right after that, i heard this mass scream outside, like everyone in the city of columbia was screaming because something awful had just happened. then just as suddenly, it stopped, like everyone was gone, or had been killed.

i have a friend who is convinced that this series of dreams i’m having is prophetic, like something bad is about to come down on planet earth. i wouldn’t rule that out, especially when you look at stuff going on in the world today revolving around israel, iran, etc., and the times specified in my first dream (about something horrible happening in march or april of this year). but i also like living in denial apparently. i don’t know what to think. i’m really not freaked out about all this; it’s more like i’m just sitting back, watching, living my life, waiting on things to happen. and really, it’s all one can do. still i can’t help but wonder… and maybe this is all connected to what i was told yesterday in the prophecy room.

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